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Distant Memories Of Work

 

Changing Your Outlook To Work

 

At work people are like actors on a stage continually interpreting what they do: what we chose to do is a blend of what is expected and our memory of what happened in the past. Our memory is work specific and has a big impact on the choices we make: we need to understand its role.

 

Part of our brain stores memories of work:

 

  • Great experiences

 

  • Difficult times

 

  • Unforgettable moments

 

It is like a sieve that selects particular events: these then reinforce our personal beliefs which attribute value to different work experiences.

 

When we chose work we select assignments which suit our preferences.  It is like passing our work expectations through a sieve that filters out what we do not want to do.

 

“Over time we select more and more work that suits ourselves and is often of less and less value to our customers”

 

We then become like a drinker choosing his or her particular tipple.  It may not be good for us but we keep wanting more of the same.

 

When I was younger I always drank lager because all my friends drank lager.  My fridge bulged with lager.  When I interacted with other drinkers I talked about these drinks, exchanged stories about what I liked and what I did not like.

 

We behave just the same at work:  selections of good and bad memories influence what we talk about, our choice of work and what we distance ourselves from.  We can categorise our memories:

 

  • Bad memories of work that disappointed you
  • Successful memories of achievement
  • Hurt memories when you felt aggrieved about an injustice

 

My wife says “You have a memory like a sieve”.  Well I do and so does she.  It is emotionally dependent, when we feel a particular way we unlock a store of memories which may be a small store which passes quickly, or a large store with lots of goodies we can take out.  It always feels good to replay these popular stories.  We remember the good, bad and the ugly because they leave the greatest impression.

 

Harry Potter calls this a pensieve because it selects the thoughts and attitudes surrounding events: he uses the pensieve to understand the past. If we do not understand our memories and experiences of work we are always looking to escape certain types of work and distance ourselves from them.

 

This might mean I will talk to one customer with whom I have good memories and avoid another because things were not so good: only one type of work goes though the sieve!  This will reinforce the belief in the customer that I’m interested or not interested.  The first step is to find out how we actually spend our time.

 

To work constructively we need to challenge these beliefs and for this we need accurate external feedback: 

 

“This work will make a difference and this work does not”

 

 

Influencing Others:

 

In the modern world of work we need to select colleagues, managers or stakeholders who will give us this constructive feedback, motivate us and make us feel good.  This will include:

 

  • Inspiration and explanation
  • Support and protection 
  • Attention and encouragement  
  • Recognition and praise
  • Freedom and responsibility 
  • Encouragement to share

 

This will mean I will talk to all customers or keep accurate records on the database and complete visit reports. Without this help, the challenging and difficult work becomes a distant memory.  We become alienated from the people around us and become highly selective about what we do.

 

What we experience is the opposite to good:

 

  • Ignored and forgotten  
  • Let down and criticised  
  • Threatened and hurt  
  • Mislead and exploited  
  • Put down or blamed  
  • Controlled and made to conform

 

All these make us feel bad and generate distance memories and negative emotions such as

 

  • Anxiety  
  • Guilt  
  • Loneliness

 

 

Distance Work:

 

If I feel anxious about contacting a customer I will put distance between me and them. This may move us away from work we are actually good at or distance our selves from what actually needs to be done.  It is like an escape route and when we are occupying this route we are engaged with distance work: we are trying to distance ourselves from something.  We see this most often with politicians who try to distance themselves from particular policies or groups.

 

Distance work involves:

 

  • Avoiding situations  
  • Making excuses  
  • Joking evasion

 

It takes a lot of energy and distracts us from what we should be doing.  While we are distancing ourselves, we are preoccupied with our own thoughts which trap our enthusiasm and motivation. We all know characters in the team who distance themselves from what needs to be done: We need to:

 

  1. Recognise these situations  
  2. Learn to deal with them

 Developing An Attitude:

 

As well as choosing the right people to work with we also must learn to manage our outlook to work.  To do this we need to:

 

  • Talk to our manager about how we interpret our role 
  • Understand our own negative and positive attitudes  
  • Select work that adds value to the team

 This is a complex process and means:

 

  1. Monitoring how we feel  
  2. Acknowledge incidents which contribute  
  3. Testing out our assumptions  
  4. Questioning the motives this generates  
  5. Generating a positive outlook for what we need to do  
  6. Rewarding ourselves for our achievements  
  7. Passing on work that is important but which we do not have the confidence to complete

 

This last part is really important: If we do not pass on work we can not do, we:

 

  • Build up a backlog of work we do not like  
  • Fuel our distance memories  
  • Beet ourselves up for not dealing with it

 Passing on this work is crucial.

  

Mindset:

 

If we can start to talk about these issues in the team we will stop pursuing the pink elephants or lost causes which waste so much of our time:  we can then become engaged with work priorities that are important to our customers and add value to the team.

 

  • We need to ask ourselves:
  • What am I expected to do
  • What do I spend my time doing?
  • What are my customer’s priorities? 
  • Who do I let down  
  • When do I spend quality time with my manager  
  • When do I make excuses for what I have not done  
  • When do I try to justify myself  
  • How do I avoid important work?  
  • What skills do I need to change my mindset?  

This way our memories of working with the team will be good, not bad and ugly.

 

People will want to stay part of the team.

 

If you want to remove distance work from your team

 

  1. Do our workshop called Getting Lean
  2. Use some of our other tools for working effectively
  3. Complete our Role Manager
  4. Ask for individual coaching

 

 


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